Dear Lance and Sam,
It's really nice seeing you again yesterday. Actually I never would like to see you again because I know that it will make me miss you and doubt my decision. It hurts like hell hearing your questions why I have to leave you behind. What hurts me more is when I saw your almost-teary eyed Lance. It broke my heart when I heard your cracking voice that wanted to burst into tears. I asked myself this question while I am looking at you: How could I broke your precious little hearts? But I have to do this! If only I could make you understand why I have to leave you hanging especially this time that you both will have your final examinations soon. I'm sad that there are things you still couldn't understand. But then, I don't want you to view life as harsh nor unfair because I want you to always believe that life is great because life is indeed beautiful.
You have been special to me. You have taught me more than what I have coached you. Both of you helped me reached again to my inner child inside and made me feel the youth within me. I was able to play and to imagine wildly again just like when I was your age. You helped me understand why children has this huge trust that everything will go well. Being with you feels like I'm carefree as a wind. You also taught me the importance of keeping a promise since you wouldn't stopped bugging me until I kept my word. I really wanted to thank you for helping me re-gain my confidence and helping me re-learn the basic things I already forgotten a long long time. It's like I'm playing "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" when you are asking me things that I couldn't remember that served as a challenge for me to do my homework.
I never really thought of being a teacher. It has never been my thing. I never wanted a title of "teacher" before my first name. And honestly, I'm never been fond of kids, but you are different because you made me one. You have unleashed something inside that I never thought existed. There are times when I wanted to quit especially when you are having tantrums Lance. I don't have any idea how to pacify you and sometimes Sam is imitating how you have your tantrums. Well I'm glad that I didn't quit that early because I will not have the chance to know you better. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life and your education. I'm hoping that you will bring with you everything that I have taught you. I hope that this will not be the last time that I will see you. I'm hoping that you will still remember me when you grow up.
I love you both and I will surely miss you!:)
-Teacher Avs-
Friday, February 25, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
TO IMPRESS OR NOT
MARCH 11 2011
this will be the day where i will have the chance to meet one of my favorite local author. i've been looking up to him and at the same time he also influenced me through his write-ups. i already read most of his books. in fact, i already stayed the whole day at powerbooks in megamall (when it was still huge and comfy) just to finish one of his books. some of his books are pricey and i could not afford buying it. but it's really worth the price. (*sigh*) it will be a great pleasure for me to meet him. meeting him is like meeting a star. it will be an overwhelming scene for me.
the thing is, i will meet him because he will be the one who will interview me, i mean everything depends on him whether or not i will get the job. so if you are in my shoes, how will you feel that your favorite author will be the one sitting across and asking you questions? i really cannot imagine seeing him that near most especially being my interviewer. i feel like i would faint that day. i would remember how i used to answer some of the things written in his books in one of my job interview before and that really saved me! but how will i use his own principalities to answer his questions? i will literally fool myself if i do that.
he has been good in throwing advices in the workplace. he got this genuine sincerity that made him a good leader and a good manager all at the same time. it's a humongous credible points for him. and mind you, every company knows him and they kept his schedule so tight. every big company loves to have him talk into their crowds to hear his tips to stay motivated and give their biggest shot to be an effective worker. on the other hand, he also concentrate more to those who run the company (i'm pertaining to the bosses). he believes that the "boss" can make or break a soul of a talented worker.
how on earth will i impress him?! yeah, i'm sounding so ridiculous because i know i have to be natural. i don't need to impress him by going beyond what i am. but i'm scared that i won't be able to answer him directly. what if i stutter? what if my grammar got disastrous? i got to get rid of this negative thoughts before it swallow me. i really can't imagine meeting him and talking with him. my heart is pounding and i'm really amazed by what may happen on me that day.
this will be the day where i will have the chance to meet one of my favorite local author. i've been looking up to him and at the same time he also influenced me through his write-ups. i already read most of his books. in fact, i already stayed the whole day at powerbooks in megamall (when it was still huge and comfy) just to finish one of his books. some of his books are pricey and i could not afford buying it. but it's really worth the price. (*sigh*) it will be a great pleasure for me to meet him. meeting him is like meeting a star. it will be an overwhelming scene for me.
the thing is, i will meet him because he will be the one who will interview me, i mean everything depends on him whether or not i will get the job. so if you are in my shoes, how will you feel that your favorite author will be the one sitting across and asking you questions? i really cannot imagine seeing him that near most especially being my interviewer. i feel like i would faint that day. i would remember how i used to answer some of the things written in his books in one of my job interview before and that really saved me! but how will i use his own principalities to answer his questions? i will literally fool myself if i do that.
he has been good in throwing advices in the workplace. he got this genuine sincerity that made him a good leader and a good manager all at the same time. it's a humongous credible points for him. and mind you, every company knows him and they kept his schedule so tight. every big company loves to have him talk into their crowds to hear his tips to stay motivated and give their biggest shot to be an effective worker. on the other hand, he also concentrate more to those who run the company (i'm pertaining to the bosses). he believes that the "boss" can make or break a soul of a talented worker.
how on earth will i impress him?! yeah, i'm sounding so ridiculous because i know i have to be natural. i don't need to impress him by going beyond what i am. but i'm scared that i won't be able to answer him directly. what if i stutter? what if my grammar got disastrous? i got to get rid of this negative thoughts before it swallow me. i really can't imagine meeting him and talking with him. my heart is pounding and i'm really amazed by what may happen on me that day.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
GOODBYE BROTHER
31 hours and 25 minutes before we bid farewell to my brother. yeah, its only 3 hrs and 25 minutes plane distance (that will make him 2391.81 kilometers away) from us but our everyday scene will not be the same anymore. i don't know but as of the moment i cannot feel anything and even don't know how to react upon this event. that's always been a problem with me lately, it's as if being passive is the most safest thing. things has been slow to sank inside me.
so saying goodbye seems the most hardest thing to do right now specially with what's going on with my mom. i feel sorry for my mom but i think this will be best for everyone (specially to my brother). but then, our home will be more quiet now that no one will tease me any longer. no one will be makulit who will repeat stories for 10x over and over again. things will never be the same starting tomorrow when the plane take-off! i will surely miss you brother :'(
so saying goodbye seems the most hardest thing to do right now specially with what's going on with my mom. i feel sorry for my mom but i think this will be best for everyone (specially to my brother). but then, our home will be more quiet now that no one will tease me any longer. no one will be makulit who will repeat stories for 10x over and over again. things will never be the same starting tomorrow when the plane take-off! i will surely miss you brother :'(
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
"One of my big concerns these past few years is that I’ve been losing the ability to feel things with the same intensity -the way way I felt when I was younger. It’s scary -to feel your emotions floating away and just not caring. I guess what’s really scary is not caring about the loss."
Life After God by Douglas Coupland
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